Thursday, May 26, 2011

Apocalypse Now...er...In October

We waited...and waited... and waited.
No global obliteration last Saturday.
Gee, WHAT a surprise!
Why it didn’t happen? Oh. Um. Er.
Evangelist Harold Camping now claims it’s because his forecast is already playing out... spiritually.
Furthermore he’s even set a new date for our impending doom, saying May 21st was a...er...miscalculation.
This pillick issued his correction on his Open Forum radio show from California yesterday. In a sometimes rambling, 90-minute discourse, 89-yr.old Camping said he felt bad that Saturday did not deliver the Rapture. Reflecting on scripture afterward, he said it dawned on him that a merciful and compassionate God would spare humanity from hell on Earth for five months, by compressing the physical apocalypse into a shorter time frame. Strange...I'm sure Harold originally claimed it was all gonna happen in one day anyway!
"The Harold...the Harold..."
He now says the actual apocalypse will occur five months later, on October 21st!!!
He insists that October 21st has always been part of his ‘end times’ chronology, marking the final day when the world will come to an end. He's adamant the apocalypse WILL begin on THAT day. Riiiiiiiiiggghhhttt!!!!
Watch this space...
In the meantime, you gotta feel sorry for Harold's followers, who spent their entire savings in anticipation of being swept into heaven. Don’t ya? Really??
Hell, NO!!! Bloody idiots.

[click here for the full movie trailer: see it before October 21st!]

1 comment:

Mad Bush Farm said...

WHAT????? Invisible apocalypse?

Damn and here was me hoping for that free send off with all the champagne...Oh well I'll just go and dust off my YEAH RIGHT Banner for the next 'end of the world is 'nigh' date

I sense somehow a cartoon is about to emerge out of this.