Friday, February 25, 2011

Horsin' Around With Our Drinkin'

Seems the World Health Organisation (WHO) has saddled us with a "pissheads" label!
According to their international report, NZers drank the equivalent of about 750 stubbies of beer each in 2005. The WHO Global Status Report on Alcohol and Health shows kiwis drank an average 9.6L of pure alcohol each, well above the 6.1L global average (but still less than our neighbours across the Tasman!). Our most popular tipple: beer, followed by wine and spirits. Shock! Horror! Probe!
National Addiction Centre boss Doug Sellman says the "extraordinary" figure equals 750 stubbies of 4% beer, 100 bottles of 12.5% wine or 24 bottles of 40% spirits.
Extraordinary???
Obviously Mr.Sellman hasn't broken a sweat on a boiling NZ summer's day - or he'd sure appreciate what a couple of coldies do to a hard-earned thirst! And as for two bottles of wine a week: maybe his personal life's a bit reined in too!
If that's the case, perhaps he'd like to zuzz things up with a different tipple - next month's Hokitika Wildfoods Festival is offering shots of horse semen! Only $10! And available in cherry, liquorice and banoffee pie flavours... and even common-or-garden bog-standard "stallion" flavour.
I'll pass, thanks!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha! Bet you coud've found some really GROSS pictures to illustrate this story!

writer of the purple sage... said...

Ahh, true but as Shakespeare wrote: "The better part of valour is discretion"! (1 Henry IV, 5:4)